For Better or For Worse

For years I’ve written about marriage and relationships. The trials and tribulations. The highs and the lows. I’ve experienced both throughout my marriage. When people are planning to say “I do”, I often ask them why they want to get married. Normally, a bride-to-be will list qualities about her betrothed such as “he’s handsome” or “he makes me feel good.” Those are great however those qualities are fleeting. But when ladies have a brand new diamond on their left hand, it is hard to make them think about the future. It is hard to make them think about the depression your spouse will fall into after the death of a loved one. They aren’t thinking about how rude and cranky they will be when they get laid off and it takes them more than 6 months to secure a job. They aren’t thinking about the “worse” part of the “for better or worse.”

I know that I wasn’t thinking about cancer and I definitely wasn’t thinking about hospice. But that’s where we are in our marriage. Hospice. But this isn’t a woe is me or woe is us post. We are surrounded by love. Friends and family check on us daily. God has truly put angels around us during this time. However, as expected, this has changed the dynamic of our relationship. The dynamics of the relationship evolved when my husband had to medically retire and I became the main income. The balance shifted as he became sicker and less mobile. And when the doctor suggested calling in hospice the shift was a seismic event.

I want people to really understand that this is what is meant when you stand at the altar before God and your family and get married. ‘Til death do us part is real.

I am blessed to be by his side as we both learn to navigate this phase of our marriage. Is it tough? Yes. Does it suck? YES! But we said those vows and while we both tarnished them and this thing called marriage has been tumultuous to say the least, I know that we meant those words…”Til death do us part.”